because we’re both shy.
there had been a chance that Michael and I would meet last November and I ended up having a complete meltdown (well … not complete, but i was pretty edgy) because I was so nervous, I didn’t know what to expect, and I really had no control over the situation. I was disappointed but also a bit relieved when things didn’t work out..
March 21st - the Lunchbox Bookfair - New York City … felt like the right time and place. Michael was absolutely adorable. I had told him that I thought it would be best if we pretended that we didn’t know one another - that way, we could see one another in a normal setting, but there wouldn’t be any pressure to meet or talk or anything else. No will he or won’t he. We would just be in the same room together and that would be kinda cool. I promised promised promised that I wouldn’t try to talk to him.
because we’re both shy.
So March 21st finally rolled around and I’m at Del Posto in New York City. Red wine calmed my nerves. I saw Michael for the first time, maybe an hour after I arrived. And true to my word, I stayed pretty much stayed at one end of the room.
But Michael moved around. I don’t remember how many times he walked by me, but each time he came closer and closer (I just stood there with a huge smile on my face). About an hour before the event ended (I was standing about eight feet from one of the doors), and in walked Courtney Love (huge smile) who stopped right in front of me and then turned around to talk to Michael who was now standing right by my side. I could do nothing but smile and giggle.
I kept my promise.
(though I did speak to him … I said something like “excuse me for interrupting, but I have something to give to Courtney.” just a small gift. a thank you.)
The three of us stood there for quite a long time. and then Thomas walked over. Thomas doesn’t like me (not really a surprise) - he seemed to be glaring at Courtney. Michael stood there a bit longer and then moved about five feet away; and we stood there and looked at one another, both of us expressionless. then he walked back to the other side of the room.
I talked to Thomas for a bit, about his work as a photographer - but it really was a short conversation.
Later, Topaz Green came over and talked to me; the woman is an angel.
and that, dear readers, is the reason I’m posting this stuff on Tumblr.
What happens next ?
I have no idea.
but I had to do something.
(I love you baby)